The Gift of Now

I am a bit of a worry wart. I worry about school; What colleges will accept me and what will happen if I choose to leave my home state. I worry about my friends personal lives and am forever trying to fix their problems. I worry about relationships and what will happen to me when everyone I know is married or seriously dating someone and I am stuck waiting for my prince charming. If change were a football team, I would most certainly not be the crazed fan pumping her fist in the air and cheering from the bleachers. Sometimes thinking about moving out of my parents house and living the life of a responsible adult scares me. Sometimes I want to curl up in my bathrobe and fuzzy socks and will time to stop. That way everything can stay exactly as it is, and I will not be forced to move on with the rest of the world.

Moving on always involves leaving something behind. Last year, my Dad was hired as the pastor of a new church. Before we officially settled into our new home, my family drove an hour and a half to church and back every Sunday for six months. During that time, we were constantly worrying about whether or not our house would sell, whether it was priced correctly and so on. I was excited about moving. I would finally live the small town life I had dreamt of for years. But moving away also meant leaving behind one of my closest friends, the girl I had shared my dreams with. That summer I developed a trust in God that would not have been cultivated had I not gone through that stressful time. It helped me realize that I am not responsible for perfectly planning the rest of my days.

Change is what brings us to different seasons in our lives. As flowers bloom in spring and leaves float to the ground in autumn, so change leaves its mark on us. Letting tomorrow take care of itself is much easier said than done. I think there is a part of every person that wants to be in control of his or her own life. I may not know precisely what the future holds in store for me, but one thing I am sure of is that I spend far to much time worrying about the “what Ifs” of life and not nearly enough time treasuring what I have now.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that’s why its called the present.” ~Master Oog’way Kung Fu Panda




4 thoughts on “The Gift of Now

    • Thank you!! Starting this blog has really helped me grow as a writer and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to focus on creative writing outside of school. I really appreciate your feedback!

  1. First off, I would like to say that you are not alone! I too have always feared change. Even if that change is for the better, I find it hard to move on, and instead I prefer to stay in my little cocoon, where I know it’s comfortable and safe. But just like a caterpillar must emerge from it’s cocoon to transform into a butterfly, each one of us must embrace the changes in our lives that, in the ending, makes us better people. So you’re absolutely right, Tory. Change is necessary, but so is keeping one’s balance and focusing on the time we are living now.

    I identified myself with all the worries you said-college, school, friends, moving away, family- but I especially identified with what you mentioned about romantic relationships. Like you, I used to worry a lot about it when I was younger, thinking that at one point, all my friends would be seriously dating and I’d be the odd one out, also waiting for my Mr. Right. And that worry was valid. I’m a college student now and pretty much all my friends are either dating or engaged…except for me. There is this young man who likes me, and I kind of like him too, but we haven’t taken the next step yet and it doesn’t seem like we will anytime soon. But you know what? It turns out, I don’t feel like I need it. I don’t need a guy to depend on, much less to validate my self esteem. It’s okay with me if my friends think they need a boyfriend, or a marriage or kids in their early twenties.

    But in my case, I’m fine for now. Maybe in the future I will probably get a boyfriend, marry, and have kids, but I realized I still have a lot of potential to reach before then. I’m still 18! There’s no need to rush. Usually, when a girl falls in love and finds a boyfriend, she ends up devoting all her time, energy, and emotions to him. Pretty much her whole life. So when they break up, it’s a disaster. And if they do get married, life won’t be a ‘happily ever after’ either. There will be joys, obviously,but there will also be problems. Nothing in life is perfect. So like you said, it’s best to embrace the moment we are living in now and not worry excessively over things we can’t control, whether it is romance related or not.

    I love your blog, Tory. If I had time, I can write review after review about every single one of your posts. Well, I will try as the days go by! Your perspective is uniquely fresh for a young girl. I’m young too, so reading this is amazing for me because I realize there are also young people out there who think beyond the superficial- clothes, music, celebrities, TV, technology, boyfriends, and so on. So once again, thanks for all of your lovely articles Tory, I will always be looking forward to more!

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