I am a bit of a worry wart. I worry about school; What colleges will accept me and what will happen if I choose to leave my home state. I worry about my friends personal lives and am forever trying to fix their problems. I worry about relationships and what will happen to me when everyone I know is married or seriously dating someone and I am stuck waiting for my prince charming. If change were a football team, I would most certainly not be the crazed fan pumping her fist in the air and cheering from the bleachers. Sometimes thinking about moving out of my parents house and living the life of a responsible adult scares me. Sometimes I want to curl up in my bathrobe and fuzzy socks and will time to stop. That way everything can stay exactly as it is, and I will not be forced to move on with the rest of the world.
Moving on always involves leaving something behind. Last year, my Dad was hired as the pastor of a new church. Before we officially settled into our new home, my family drove an hour and a half to church and back every Sunday for six months. During that time, we were constantly worrying about whether or not our house would sell, whether it was priced correctly and so on. I was excited about moving. I would finally live the small town life I had dreamt of for years. But moving away also meant leaving behind one of my closest friends, the girl I had shared my dreams with. That summer I developed a trust in God that would not have been cultivated had I not gone through that stressful time. It helped me realize that I am not responsible for perfectly planning the rest of my days.
Change is what brings us to different seasons in our lives. As flowers bloom in spring and leaves float to the ground in autumn, so change leaves its mark on us. Letting tomorrow take care of itself is much easier said than done. I think there is a part of every person that wants to be in control of his or her own life. I may not know precisely what the future holds in store for me, but one thing I am sure of is that I spend far to much time worrying about the “what Ifs” of life and not nearly enough time treasuring what I have now.
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that’s why its called the present.” ~Master Oog’way Kung Fu Panda